Take Survey, Get Free Huge Poster, Courtesy Of Me

OK, that’s 100 (actually a little more). We’ll still give away 50 more, at random, to people who complete the survey this week.

So, we made these posters. We meant to hand them out at Black Hat, but they didn’t get finished in time, even though we rushed them by —- among other things —- doing it ourselves without our designer, who will certainly mock us for the next year about the color scheme and perhaps you have a recommendation for a good print designer for us? And anyhow, here it is:

Yes, we have a fetish for hex charts. We also have “man ascii” in like 15 forgotten terminal windows on all our desktops. And now we can just look up at the wall. And here are some things to know about the posters:

• They are big, by shwag poster standards. About as wide as a normal cubicle panel.

• They are printed on heavy stock, which we thought would be a win but turns out not to be as much of a win as we thought but might be great for you.

• The image here is not 100% accurate, because Preview.app botched the PDF->GIF transformation, so please don’t submit bug requests about it.

• I am fully to blame for the terrible color scheme.

And you’re wondering, how do I get one of these posters? And I am here to tell you that today, one good way to get a poster is if you’ve ever been responsible for managing more than one firewall, you could: fill out our survey and help us figure out what to do next with Playbook, our firewall sync product.

Otherwise, you can wait, and we’ll come up with something else that will get you a poster shortly. I think they’re pretty cool, even if they are kind of crazy looking.

First 100 real submissions get free posters. Next 50 posters after that go out by lottery. We’ll let you know when that happens.

PS: I may already owe you a poster, in which case, drop me an email or a DM, and we’ll send one.

Comments

[Bert JW Regeer]

Does managing the home firewall sitting between the internet and the local lan count? If not I guess I am out :-P.

I wish you guys had these at Black Hat, would have had a chance at maybe snagging one (I volunteered for Black Hat this year).

[Anonymous]

Does the poster include how not to get completely owned ?

[StatlerAndWaldorf]

Eh, I actually used to manage metric assloads of firewalls. And I had a cubicle wall, suitable for big ass posters. Three of them actually. If you have four it's not a cubicle, it's an office, a cell, or both.

I used a lot of ugly Perl and Expect, had approved firewall updates commit to CVS, logged everything to remote syslog and had little batchy things that ran and sent reports and stuff that nobody read except when some intern fucked up the network.

Then I left that company, it all went to hell, and as far as I know, everything has a "pass all from all" in front of it now. Turns out I was young and stupid and no idea that's not how a F500 actually manages firewalls. You're supposed to just sort of click on things until the customer says "Yeah, I can ping it now", and then go to lunch or happy hour.

To Mr. Anony Moose, above, that's actually a trick question. The poster does not include the information you seek, but the truth is it's impossible to not get completely owned. Eventually. Sorry, pal.

If you think you haven't been yet, you're either a) not using computers (provably false) b) not an interesting target (certainly plausible) or c) not paying attention.

That is all. I don't really want a poster other than to see if I can find a typo.

I have a stainless steel fridge of the non-magnetic persuasion and I still haven't figured out where the fuck to stick those fridge magnets from awhile back. Mac people are really good at making shiny but completely impractical things, sometimes with extra shiny.

Like I said I don't have cubicle (or cell) walls anymore. My office is generally either a bar or my front porch.

I suppose I could sort of just carry the sign around on one of those sandwich board things like they have in front of cafes and promote Tom and Dave or something, but having been yet again successfully trolled by Tom into posting here for the 32nd time in a year or so I think I've done my part.

Go Internet, or something.

[Thomas Ptacek]

The refrigerator magnets were shiny and useless. The poster is useful. It also tells you how to format UTF-8.

[StatlerAndWaldorf]

I didn't say useless, I said impractical. It's apparently like 9 feet high. And green, black and orange.

But I will fill out the survey if you like and you can gain insightful wisdom from someone who hasn't managed a firewall since the Clinton administration. But I want the damn Clamato this time.

[Magnus]

Is the survey really open only for US people?

Just filled out the survey but has to supply state and correctly formatted US phone number and no box for country.

How am I supposed to get the cool poster?

[anonymous]

Thanks for the poster. Learn a lot from your blog. Why not use https on your formspring form?

[Andrew]

Boo to US only, should have mentioned it in the post. Hopefully you'll reconsider :)

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I took the survey and it was great. You should get some good insight out of it.
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